Jean, Wench of the Skankin' Pickle
The Wench of the Skankin' Pickle ******* was the first wench to be fooled into giving up her freedom to the Mystic Order.
The circumstances which led to this began with a dispute over a piece of land she claimed to own in the Lower Realms. Sir Dave had already established a base in the region, so the land obviously belonged to the Golden Monkey and his followers. The Horde had been on a seige of her acre of woods for only an hour and a half when she decided to utilize the "scorched earth" policy, and burn her land to the ground. She did. The Horde, who didn't really care, put out the fire with some monkey urine, and threw her in a burlap sack, to be added to the then vacant harem of the Mystic Order of the Golden Monkey.
She now resides in a burned stump in her once mighty forest, from which she sells illegal narcotics to hard-up squirrel monkeys.
Kristen, Wench of the Great Unfrosted Cake, Fruit of Loin's loins(the cake, that is)
Tasha, Wench Patroness of Overzealous Stalking
Tasha, the wench of the overzealous stalking started out in life engaged in the pasttime of stalking strangers and occasionally stealing their possessions. She decided that her stalking was becoming a bit tedious and she went in search of a new calling. Starting a new life, she left her town to seek a new place to live, and along the way began to trail another victim against her better judgement. When she reached into the bag of this person steal something of his, her hand was grabbed and a shaggy-headed man with a fake tooth turned to face her. At first she was frightened at this sighting but he called to her "monkey monkey monkey golden mystic knight" His words entrigued her, she asked to hear more. The man then said, "Get thee to the hallowed halls of the Mystic Order of the Golden Monkey. There you shall learn all that you wish as the concubine of their knights," and for reasons unbeknownst to her, she obeyed. Tasha went on to become the third devoted wench of the Mystic Order, and attained the knowledge she thirsted for...the fact that stalking was her true calling, and that Mystic Order knights are fun to stalk.
Mistress Carpentrix Spiff, Wench of the Strawberry Passion Awareness
This particular wench had realized at an early age the importance of
monkies. She had always been a stubbornly working, carving and building what
was needed. One day, Spiff had been traveling the vast planes of the
mystical sets, when mistakenly, she stumbled upon the Bizarro Men's Room.
This event changed her life forever. She crossed the deserts of the Men's
Room, quickly loosing all hope she had. Close the death, she fell to her
knees praying that something would come to save her. In the far corner of
the Bizarro world, she spotted something walking toward her. A golden monkey
stepped up to her, carrying an aluminum can. She took this can, examined
it and thankfully drank the juice it contained. When she looked up, the monkey
had disappeared. She vowed to somehow repay the monkey one day for that
can of Strawberry Passion Awareness.
The Bizarro Spiff, or Mistress Carpentrix Spiff, left the Bizarro Men's
Room and traveled the world, with the knowledge of the monkey. When Spiff
heard of the Mystic Order of the Golden Monkey, she felt something in her
change. Obviously, this was her calling in life: to devote herself to the
protection of the golden monkey which had saved her years before.
The Wench Colleen, Princess of Multi-colored Undergarments
Once a shy young girl, the Wench Colleen, Princess of Multi-colored Undergarments wandered the mall day after day.
She longed for something that would bring meaning and order to her life of chaotic and indecisive underwear shopping.
One afternoon, out of the abyss, a store magically appeared called the "Sweater Shack," which was odd because all they sold was underwear.
Immediately drawn into the store by some unseen force, or perhaps the need for attractive underwear, Colleen soon found herself staring directly into a winged apparition of the Mystic Golden Monkey.
The monkey then preached to her the splendors of his order and how it could reform her life. He then bestowed upon her a pair of shimmering golden underwear, which she was instructed to deliver to Grandmaster Kraut. She promised that they would soon be in his custody.